


The Black Cauldron-Sanders Sides Edition

by anyarally



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), The Black Cauldron (1985)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dallben is Patton, Disney References, Fflewddur Fflam is Roman, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gurgi is Deceit, Hen Wen is Thomas, I know it seems weird but I promise it kinda makes sense, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Minor Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Morally Neutral Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Not much tho, Pining Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Prince Logic | Logan Sanders, Princess Eilonwy is Logan, Princess Eilonwy is Logic, Some angst, Storytelling, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, The Black Cauldron - Freeform, The Black Cauldron AU, The Witches are all Remus, Virgil is Taran, Who’s to say, analogical - Freeform, and also kinda a joke by Remus, because he gets better, but i'm not putting it in the ao3 warnings, hear me out bro, it’s kinda one sided though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21529411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyarally/pseuds/anyarally
Summary: Roman shares an idea for a new Sanders Sides episode with the other Sides, but Virgil finds it far too familiar.
Relationships: Analogical - Relationship, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly just something fun and fairly easy I could write to escape my art block, hopefully it works! It's kinda random and self-indulgent, hope y'all enjoy! Oh and this is my first Sanders Sides fanfiction, but far from my first fanfiction overall haha.

[cover I'm way too proud of](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/i/cd2332b6-b323-4987-81dd-0a319816c564/ddkwcbe-250b1f3a-135d-4112-b798-250787b9c3f5.jpg)

Roman and Virgil were both sitting in the Mind Palace’s commons, Roman messing with his sword in a (mostly) open area and Virgil scrolling through Tumblr on his phone. 

Roman pauses what he’s doing, using his magic to send his katana back to his room and plopping down on the couch. “Hey, Virgil?”

“Yeah, Princey?” Virgil replies, not looking up from his phone. 

“I think I have an idea for a new Sanders Sides episode, wanna hear?”

“Oh, sure,” he puts his phone in his hoodie pocket, “We should get Patton and Logan though, they’ll wanna hear too.”

“Hey kiddos!” Patton walks out of the kitchen wearing a light blue apron with a cracked egg on it that says ‘You Crack Me Up’, “I think I heard my name?”

“Correct-a-mundo, padre! I was just telling ol’  _ Panic! at the Everywhere _ that I had an idea for the next Sanders Sides episode! So I was thinking we would go to the imagination-”

“Stop! Wait for me!” the three sides heard Logan yell from upstairs, followed by the said side running down the stairs and huffing, putting his hands on his knees while putting his pointer finger up. “Just,”  _ huff _ , “a second, while I,”  _ huff _ , “sort myself out.”

He walks over to the group, taking a seat next to Virgil. “Hey, Pocket Protector, didn’t really think you’d be one to come down here for a story.”

“Well,” Logan started, adjusting his glasses, “if this is to become an actual episode, this seems like the most efficient way of reviewing it.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever makes you feel better, Specs,” Roman scoffs.

“Anyway, come on, kiddo! On with the story! Everyone’s here!”

“Alright, alright, so I was thinking we would all go to the imagination together and have a huge adventure! It would start with Thomas narrating…”


	2. 1

“Legend has it, in the mystic land of Prydain. There was once a king so cruel, and so evil, that even the gods feared him. Since no prison could hold him, he was thrown alive into a crucible of molten iron. There, his demonic spirit was captured, in the form of a great Black Cauldron. For uncounted centuries, The Black Cauldron lay hidden, while evil men searched for it. Knowing whoever possessed it, would have the power to resurrect an Army of Undead Warriors. And with them, rule the world.”

“Hey Princey? Who’s gonna be the evil king?” 

Roman shrugs, “I don’t know, but it can’t be any of  _ us _ , we have set parts in this already.”

“Maybe Deceit? Or Remus?” Patton suggests.

“No, they both have roles already too. Now, stop talking! Let me finish the story! So, anyway, then it would cut to a small cabin, a very renaissance-y feel to it. 

“Then, enters Patton, 

“‘There's something wrong! I can feel it in my bones! And my tummy… it must be The Horned King! That black-hearted devil! What's he waiting for?’

“A puppy jumps up onto the table by Patton, nudging his hand and whimpering, ‘Yes, yes, Pupper, I  _ know  _ you want your breakfast! But just now  _ thinking  _ is more important!’

“Patton looks over, ‘Oh, Virgil! The pot is boiling over, Virgil!’ then he sees Virge staring out the window in a daydream.

“‘Oh, Pat, I was just thinking. What if the war's over, and I never had a chance to fight!’”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, why would I say that?! I hate fighting!” 

“Be quiet, Virge! How much must it take for a guy to tell a story uninterrupted here! And stop whining, you should be grateful! I made  _ you _ the main character!”

“What? Why?!”

Roman sighs, “You  _ do _ know you’re the most popular character, don’t you, Virgil?”

“I am not!”

The other sides just all stare at him for an uninterrupted moment until Logan says, “Roman, just continue with the idea, please.”

“I’d thought you’d never ask! Ok, so while Patton is looking over some old maps, he says ‘That’s a good thing, kiddo! War isn't a game, people get hurt!'

“Virgil sighed, ‘I guess you’re right. Ouch!’ Virgil reached his hand out, only to touch the boiling pot, burning his finger.

“‘There ya go, kiddo! If the Horned King ever returned you'll have much more to worry about than a burned finger.’ Virgil then scooped out a spoonful of whatever Patton was cooking, smelled it, and quickly turned his face away in disgust. He sets it in a small bowl. The puppy, hoping it was for him, attempts to eat it and turns away in disgust, too.

“‘No, no, no, Pupper! That is not for you, it's for Thomas’

“‘Thomas, Thomas, it's  _ always _ Thomas!’

“‘And one day, kiddo, you may learn why. Now, no more dreaming, you’ve got chores to do. Don’t you want to help out your old man?’

“‘Yes,  _ sir _ ,’ Virgil mocks, clearly not meaning it, before he sets off to feed Thomas.”

“Wait, wait, I’m a bit confused. What exactly  _ is _ Thomas in this?” Logan interrupts.

“You’ll see…”

“Patton slowly shakes his head, ‘He's so anxious, and so blind to the dangers ahead,’ he opens the pot, ‘Look, look, Pupper you're in luck! Just enough left for you!’

“The puppy backs away whining, Patton responding with a confused, ‘Hmmm?’”

“Hey! Is this your way of saying my cooking isn’t very good?” Patton asks, looking like he’s about to tear up.

“What? No, no, of course not, padre! Your cooking is great! I promise it’s just to add humor into the story, ok?”

“Well, I guess if you say so, kiddo. Go on, I’m actually pretty curious about where this story is gonna go now…” 


	3. 2

“Well, outside, Virgil is walking to get to Thomas, ‘Patton wouldn't understand. I'm not just some little kid that needs to be protected. I should be doing heroic deeds for Prydain! Not waiting hand and foot on a spoiled-hey!’

“Virgil had set down the bowl and shoved it in the barrel only for it to come right back at him, he laughs, ‘Oh, alright Thomas, I didn't mean it,’ and a small cute pig comes out of the barrel and looks at the food.”

“Hold on, Thomas is a pig?!? What the hell, Princey?!”

“All will be revealed in time, Virgil! Don’t judge my creative genius!”

“Fine, but I  _ so _ get to judge if it’s not explained by the end of your story.”

“Fine, fine, whatever, Jack  _ Smell _ ington. Now, Virgil says, ‘You'd better eat it, Patton made it especially for you.’

“Then Thomas takes a bite, and swallows hard, and backs away from the food. Virgil, ever the angst-fest, says ‘Is this to be my life? Pampering a pig! I'm a warrior, not some Pig-Keeper. Patton thinks I'd get scared, but I wouldn't. All I need is, is, is a chance! And I could be a famous warrior!’

“By now Virgil has walked out of the pen, with Thomas following. Virge sees a stick and picks it up, pretending it's a sword. ‘Look at me, Thomas! I can do it! Ha!’”

“Ok now you’re just projecting yourself onto me.”

“Shush! He points the 'sword' at Thomas and he squeals, runs and hides. ‘Ha, ha, ha, ha. Even you're afraid!’ Patton's goat comes out and looks at Virge. ‘There you are! His majesty the Horned King! So, we meet at last! Ha!’

“Virgil takes the stick and rattles it between the goat's horns, ‘Even the Horned King shakes with fear! See Thomas, everybody runs from the famous Virgil of Caer Patton!’

“Thomas squeals when he sees the goat ready to butt Virgil. The goat succeeds in doing so, sending Virgil and Thomas flying through the mud, Virgil begins to cough. ‘Prydain's finest warrior, draws his last,’ he gasps, ‘breath!’

“Virgil collapses on the ground, Thomas, thinking he's not faking, scurries over to him and nudges his cheek, Virge peeks an eye open to look at him and finally notices Patton’s shadow. ‘Patton!!’

“‘Hmmm. Not quite the blade for a hero, huh, kiddo!’ he laughs.

“Virgil tosses the stick away, ‘I was... It's just we were....uh, Thomas got dirty!’ He begins to brush the mud off Thomas. 

“‘So I see. Another dream, Virge?’

“Virgil wipes the mud off his face, ‘But, Patton! Won't I ever be anything but an Assistant Pig-Keeper?’

“‘He's a  _ very special  _ pig, Virgil! Now give him a nice bath!’

“Virge picks Thomas up and carries him to the basin where he bathes. ‘Well Thomas, it looks like I'll be an Assistant Pig-Keeper forever. You like that, don't you. Now for the part you like best,’ he begins to scrub Thomas's back. He settles down, but a concerned look soon overcomes his face, then that face turns to terror. He jumps up, squealing madly. ‘Hey, c'mon Thomas, I haven't finished scrubbing your bac-hey what's the matter? Calm down, Thomas! Stop it! Please, what's the matter?!?! Thomas!!’

“Patton opens the shutters in response to the noise, ‘Virgil! What’s going on?!’

“‘I-I don't know! There's something wrong with Thomas!’

“‘ _ What _ ?!?! Oh, quickly kiddo, bring him inside!’

“Now inside the cottage, Virgil sees Patton lighting a candle and setting it next to a basin filled with water. ‘What's that for?’

“‘Put Thomas down. I never use his powers unless I have to. But now I must!’

“‘Powers?’

“‘Virgil, what you are about to see, you must never reveal to  _ anyone _ ! Thomas is actually an absolutely amazing wizard trapped in a pig’s body! I know it’s crazy, but that was the only living being I could sacrifice nearby when he was about to pass! He still has his powers, though…’ Patton sticks his oak staff into the water and recites these magic words;

‘Thomas, from you I do beseech......

Knowledge that lies beyond my reach......

Troubled thoughts weigh on your heart......

Pray you now those thoughts impart.....’

“Thomas appears to be dizzy. He drops his snout into the water and images appear. Patton examines the images, ‘The Horned King…’ Virgil gasps and stifles a cry, ‘Shh. Don't interfere!’ he turns back to the images, ‘He's searching… The Black Cauldron…! So that’s it!’

“‘The Black Cauldron?’

“‘An awesome weapon, Virgil! It's been hidden for centuries, but if the Horned King finds it, and unleashes it's power,  _ nothing  _ could stand against him.’

“Virgil looks at the images and cries, ‘It's Thomas!’

“‘He knows…’ he directs the next part to Thomas, ‘Stop! Enough!’

“Thomas quickly backs away from the water. Patton is more frightened than ever, ‘You must leave here at once! Take Thomas to the hidden cottage at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Hide there, never bring him out, until I come for you!’

“‘Hide? But why?’

“‘Only I knew the secret of Thomas's power! But now the Horned King has discovered it! You must make sure he never uses it to find the Black Cauldron! Off you go kiddo, and take care of yourself!’

“‘Goodbye Patton! I won't fail you!’

“After hugging Patton, whispering a ‘Goodbye, dad’ that he had always been too nervous to say before to him, he and Thomas walked out the door.

“Patton sadly watches them go for a bit before returning to his preparations, ‘So much, so soon to rest upon his young shoulders…’”


	4. 3

“There’s a castle with gwythaints swooping around it, and we zero in on the courtroom filled with skeletons that are clothed and armed with weapons. There’s a robed figure at the top of the stairs. The robe is crimson, and a fur stole is wrapped around the neck, held by a gold broach. The fur stole trails down the figure's back 'till it reaches the ground. Huge horns stick straight out of the figure's head, ripped through the hood of the robe. This figure? This is the Horned King, the exact one Patton fears, the one he spoke of. The Horned King quietly walks down the stairs and begins to talk to his lifeless skeleton warriors, ‘Oh, yes! Yes, my soldiers. Soon the Black Cauldron will be mine. It's evil power will course through my veins, and I, shall make you. Cauldron-born! Yes!  _ Yes _ ! Oh, yes! Then you will worship  _ me _ ! Me. Oh, my soldiers, how long I have thirsted to be the God among mortal men!’

“Virgil and Thomas are walking through the forest, Thomas on a cheap rope leash. ‘Wow Thomas! I never knew you could create visions and things like that! I thought you were just an ordinary pig. I had no idea you’re so... special. Patton’s going to be glad he put his trust in me! Just you wait and see! Now, don't go wandering off! And don't you worry! Keep close to me and no one will do you any harm. Not while I'm around,’ he stops at a stream and takes a quick drink, ‘And I won't let the Horned King get close to you. I'll protect you!’ Virgil looks into the stream and sees the reflection of a huge monster behind him. He swings around, terrified, only to realize it’s just a dead tree behind him, the branches looking like claws. 

“He calms himself, breathing deeply and muttering ‘4, 7, 8, 4, 7, 8…’ to himself. One he comes out of his mini attack, he sees that Thomas is gone.

“‘Thomas? Where are you? Thomas? Oh shit!’ Virgil dashes into the forest, ‘Thomas? Thomas! Thomas…’ Virgil suddenly becomes very aware of the forest looming around him then hears a branch snap. Virgil flattens himself against a tree. ‘Is that you Thomas?’

“Virgil walks forward and pulls out an apple. ‘Look what I've got. C'mon out here's a lovely juicy-’ Virgil is suddenly pushed to the ground, and something scrambles after the apple.

“‘Haha, yes! Finally, someone has given me some food! Nice apple! Good Prince, good apple! Oh boy! What a juicy apple!’ Says a small yellow and black komodo dragon, scrambling away after taking Virgil’s apple. Virgil grabs him by the scruff of it’s neck.

“‘Hey! No you don't! I didn't give you that apple, you took it!’ In response, the creature bites his hand. ‘Ow!’ it runs and hides in a nearby bush. ‘Hey! Hold on you scaley little thief! Come back with my apple!’ Virgil picks up a stick, ‘If you don't give it back you'll be sorry! I mean it! I 'm warning you!’

“The creature comes out of hiding, and Virgil yells, ‘Give it back!’ It looks like it’s holding the apple, but when he opens his hands and/or claws, the apple isn't there. ‘C'mon, the apple! Where is it?’

“‘Uh, ah! I haven’t seen the apple! I don’t know what you’re-’ the apple has rolled out behind it’s back, and he leaps on top of the apple to hide it.

“‘Give it back, I’m warning you! C'mon!’ the small creature tosses the apple about in his hands and looks at it like his heart is about to break. ‘C'mon the apple, give it back!’

“Then, the creature smirks and takes a huge bite out of the apple before handing it to Virgil. ‘You horrible greedy thing! You should be ashamed of yourself!’

“The creature starts to cry, ‘Oh, shut up! I'm not going to hurt you. Now, have you seen my pig?’”

“Now, Virgil, that was very mean! That poor thing only wanted some food!”

“Patton, you do know none of this actually happened, right? This is just an idea by Roman?”

“Oh, right! Silly me, I got too invested in the story haha!”

“As I was saying, the creature said, ‘Piggy? Round, fat piggy? Big snout!’ 

“‘Yep. It’s a pig.’

“‘Curly tail!’

“‘Yep. Like I said, he’s a pig.’

“‘Uh-uh, nope. I haven’t seen any piggy! Nope!’

“‘Oh, never mind! Who knows where Thomas is by now!’ Virgil stuffs the apple into his vest. The komodo dragon follows him, hoping to get the apple. 

“‘Oh, master, master!’

“‘I’m not your master-’

“‘Now I remember! Yes! Yes! I’m so clever, I saw the piggy run, right through the forest! Uhuh! Uhuh! I saw it! Uhuh! I saw it!’

“‘You little liar! You’re clearly only saying that because I have an apple! Ugh! You know what, I’m gonna call you Deceit from now on, since it’s the only thing you know!’

“Oooohhhhhh!!!!” all the sides in the room say at once.

“That’s who Deceit is!” Patton exclaims. 

“Yep, now stop interrupting! We’re about to get to the good part!”

“‘Deceit… Deceit. Oooh, I like it! Deceit likey!’

“‘And now it’s talking in the third person. Great.’

“Newly dubbed  _ Deceit _ starts pulling Virgil by the hand, ‘Come! Deceit will find the lost piggy! Then we'll be friends forever!’ He jumps on Virgil and begins to search his jacket for the apple, ‘Munchings and crunchings in here somewhere!’

“Virgil and Deceit freeze when they hear a high pitched squeal from Thomas. ‘It's Thomas! He’s in trouble!’

“‘Goodbye!’ Deceit says as he runs and hides since trouble is nearby.


	5. 4

“‘Thomas! Thomas!’ Virgil yells, coming to a clearing and sees Thomas running from a gwythaint. The gwythaints swoop over Thomas trying to grab him. ‘Thomas! Thomas, look out!’

“Thomas runs madly across the field, the monsters still after him. ‘Lookout! C'mon, hurry Thomas! No! Don't! Thomas, hurry!’ The gwythaint grabs Thomas and begins to carry her off, Virgil pulls on the gwythaint’s tail. ‘No! Don't! Stop! No!’ The other gwythaint seizes Virgil and drops him to the ground as they fly away. ‘No! Come back! Please! No! No! Come back!’ Virgil runs through some thorn bushes, and climbs up a rocky hill, only to see, at the top, the gwythaints flying away to the Horned King's castle.

“‘Thomas, must get him out of there!’

“‘Oh, no! Great Lord! Not go in there! Forget the piggy!’ Deceit yells’

“Startled by Deceit’s sudden return and most definitely still angered, Virgil snarls, ‘What are you doing back here?!’

“‘Deceit come back to be your friend!’

“‘Friend?’ Virgil scoffs, ‘You're no friend! Why did you run away when I.. oh, never mind! I promised Patton I'd keep Thomas safe! I  _ have  _ to go!’ Virgil begins to walk toward the castle and a lightning bolt flashes. He backs away in fear.

“Virgil glances back at Deceit, a few feet behind seemingly staring at nothing, ‘Are you coming?’

“‘Me? Go in there? Oh, no, no! It's a terrible place!’

“‘Just as I thought! You're no friend! You're just a...a.. a miserable, lying, coward!’ Virgil takes the apple out of his jacket and looks at it. ‘Here, this is all you cared about anyway!’ Virgil yells, throwing the apple towards Deceit and it hits the ground. Virgil storms away towards the castle, leaving Deceit behind.

“Deceit stared at the apple for a few more moments after Virgil leaves, muttering to himself, ‘If he go into evil castle, poor Deceit will never see his friend again! Nope! Never!’ He shakes his scaley head, grabbing the apple and slithering away. 

“While Virgil’s trying to get inside the castle by climbing the wall, he sees a beam of light and sees he has found a window. Virgil tears away the wood that blocked the window, and he climbs inside. He looks around the strange hallway while quietly getting up, and begins to search for Thomas. As he rounds a corner, he hears a snort. Carefully he looks around to see a guard sleeping, his head resting on a table. Virgil quickly slips past the guard but looks back to make sure he wasn't seen. Then the guard dog sees Virgil and loudly barks viciously at him. The guard wakes up, but instead of looking to see what the dog was barking at, the guard yanks the dog's leash.

“‘Shutup ya thick-skulled dolt! Always barking at nothing!’ the guard stretches his arms out and yawns, ‘Alright, might as well make our rounds now that you’ve woken me up, brat.’

“Virgil begins to get out of the corner he was hiding in, but he accidentally pushes open a hidden door. He looks into a large dining hall, with a throne at one end. The henchmen celebrate the capture of Thomas, crying out bloodcurdling threats at each other and at a dwarf called Creeper. Creeper had just been trying to snatch a little supper for himself, but the Henchman won't allow it. They trip Creeper, who lands hard on the ground. Just then a chilly wind blows through the dining hall that stirs the wall hangings. Everyone becomes deadly silent, and all the candles and torches blow out. A small explosion occurs at one end of the hall. And there stands the Horned King himself. Creeper hurries over to the throne and begins to dust it.

“‘Welcome, your majesty! We're celebrating our success! I, I-I mean  _ your  _ success! We have made no mistakes this time!’ The Horned King seats himself, and begins to drink the wine Creeper poured for him, ‘Bring in the prisoner!’

“One of the henchmen drags out Thomas by a chain attached to his neck, ‘There, sire! This is the pig that creates visions!’

“‘Alright pig! Show his majesty where the Black Cauldron can be found! Go on, show it!’ Thomas refuses, ‘Heh, heh! Stubborn little thing, isn't she? Heh, heh…’ the Horned King grabs Creeper and throws him to the ground, ‘Why yes, sire. You're quite right! I'll t-take care of it at once!’

“To Thomas, ‘The Black Cauldron! Where is it? Show us, swine!’ Creeper shoves Thomas's face into the bowl of water they want the visions to be seen. He still refuses, then Creeper grabs a lump of hot coal. ‘I warn you! The King's patience is short!’

“‘No! Don't!’ Virgil falls from his perch and lands on the floor, the henchmen immediately run over to capture him. Virgil picks up a broom and points it at them, ‘Get back! Or I'll, I'll…’

“One of the henchmen look at Virgil and laughs, he takes his sword, and with one swing cuts the broom into a million pieces. He looks at what's left of the broom in disbelief, ‘...shit.’

“The henchman picks Virgil up and points his sword at his stomach.

“‘Release him!’ Creeper yells.

“The henchman looks at Virgil, then throws him over by Thomas. Virgil tries to calm him. ‘Thomas! Oh, Thomas! There, there.’

“The Horned King slowly rises from his throne, looming over Virgil, ‘I presume, my boy, you are the keeper of this oracular pig.

“‘Y-y-y-yes, sir.’

“‘Then instruct it to show me the whereabouts of the Black Cauldron!’ he booms.

“‘Oh, I-I can't, I promised!’

“‘Very well. In that case, the pig is no use to me!’ Creeper begins to laugh madly and grabs Thomas. Virgil tries to stop him, but he is seized by one of the henchmen.

“‘What are you going to do to him?!’ Creeper places Thomas on a chopping-block. ‘No! You can't! Don't!’

“The ax is raised, ‘No! Stop! I'll make him tell you!’ Virgil yells, still struggling in the henchmen’s clutches.

“The Horned King sits back down, ‘That's better.’


	6. 5

“‘Now, get on with the visions, pig!’ Creeper yells, causing the ax to be put down and Virgil to be released and led to Thomas. Virgil sighs, and begins to recite the magic words. 

‘Thomas, from you I do beseech......

Knowledge that lies beyond my reach......

Troubled thoughts weigh on your heart......

Pray you now those thoughts impart.....’

“‘Look! Look sire! It's working!’ Creeper excitedly yells as images of the Black Cauldron appear in the water.

“‘The Black Cauldron! So it does exist!’ The Horned King gets up from his throne and walks towards Virgil, ‘Yes. Where is it? Show me. Show me!’ The Horned King lunges at Virgil. He cries out in terror, hastily backing away and spilling the water where visions are taking place. The water hits the Horned King's eyes and he screams in fury and in pain. Virgil scrambles to his feet and picks up Thomas.

“‘C-c'mon, Thomas!’

“Creeper points at the two, ‘After them! Get them! After them!’

“The henchmen chase Virgil while the gwythaints, who had been chained to one of the beams, fly after him. Because they are so strong, the gwythaints rip the beam right off the wall, forcing the henchmen to give up the chase for the few seconds that the beam takes to get ahead of them. Virgil, who is running for dear life, would have been caught by the gwythaints, if it wasn't for the beam catching in a doorway. The henchmen are on the chase again. Virgil runs into the kitchen, where a cook is cutting meat with a rather large knife. He tries to get out, but Creeper blocks his way. Creeper lunges at Virgil and Thomas squeals making Virgil turn his head, showing him that a rather large knife is coming at him. Virgil ducks, missing the knife and Creeper.

“‘Gotcha, pig boy!’ Creeper yells, thinking he’s got Virgil, but Creeper flies over him and hits the cook. Virgil runs into the next hallway, seeing that the henchmen are closing in. Virgil goes through a door and locks it behind him. As he turns around, he sees a balcony, a dead end. Virgil looks over the battlements and notices it’s an easy jump to the moat.

“‘The moat! It's our only chance! C'mon Thomas!’ While Virgil tries pushing Thomas over, Virgil sees the swords and axes of the henchmen hacking away the door. With one final push, he sends Thomas into the moat. ‘Swim, Thomas! Swim!’ He readies himself to jump, ‘I'm coming!’

“Virgil is dragged backward. Looking behind him, he sees that Creeper has grabbed his legs. ‘Gotcha, pig boy! For real this time!’ Creeper drags Virgil over to the Horned King, ‘I caught him, Your Majesty! I caught the boy!’

“The Horned king picks Creeper up by the throat, ‘But you let _ the pig _ go, didn't you?’

“‘It wasn't my fault, I swear!’

“In response, the Horned King chokes Creeper, then throws him to the ground, ‘Throw the boy into the dungeon!’

“And so, Virgil is brought to a dungeon, only a small grating giving him light. Virgil slumps to the ground, feeling as though he has failed his quest, and broke his promise to Patton. As he slumps alone in the dungeon, the words that he once said and heard haunt him.

“‘You must make sure he never uses Thomas to find the Black Cauldron!’

_ ‘Only I knew the secret of Thomas's power! But now the Horned King has discovered it! You must make sure he never uses it to find the Black Cauldron! Off you go kiddo, and take care of yourself!’ _

_ ‘Goodbye Patton! I won't fail you! …goodbye, dad’ _

“Virgil shakes these words out of his mind, looks around him and picks up a rock about the size of his hand, slams it against the dungeon wall, and begins to cry. The voices no longer bother him. His cries soon turn to sobs, ‘I can do it! I can do it.’

“To Virgil, it seems like all hope is lost. He crouches on the floor and cries out his failure. Then when it seems to us all hope is lost, one of the flagstones gets pushed up and moved to the side. A bright ball of baby-blue light comes up from the hole the flagstone was covering. The ball of light flutters around in mid-air providing light for the beautiful young boy that climbs out of the hole. He had dark blue, black, and gold princely garb, short almost-black brown hair, and deep blue eyes partially hidden behind square glasses.

“He asks, seemingly to the glowing ball, ‘I thought I heard someone up here?’ he then turns around, seeing Virgil, and says, ‘Oh! Was that you?’


	7. 6

“Wait, wait, wait,” Virgil interrupts Roman, “You made _Logan_ a _prince_?”

“Uh, _duh_ , if you’re the main character, Logan is _obviously_ going to be the love interest, seeing how much you two are hopelessly pining over each other constantly.”

Virgil and Logan’s faces both immediately burn up, which is a big thing coming from both of them. 

“Uh, I uh-" Virgil sputters. 

“Just get on with the story, please…” Logan says, slightly covering his face with his hand. 

“Alrighty then! Virgil watches the bauble with distrust and curiosity, ‘Yes, yes! I-’

“The royal-looking boy cuts him off, ‘You're being held a prisoner, aren't you?’

“Virgil, still watching the bauble, replies with a ‘Yes!’

“‘I’m being held against my will, too.’

“The bauble floats in front of Virgil, and he touches it with his hand. The bauble flickers, then the light comes back and madly circles around Virgil, who has jumped back in fear. ‘It lights up!’

“Logan laughs, ‘Why of course, it's magic! I should know, I studied magic back home. It’s quite interesting, actually, with all the magic that’s in this world it’s an almost infinite source of interesting facts. Nevermind that though, I'm Prince Logan. Are you a lord, or a warrior?’

“‘Er, no, I'm, uh, an assistant pig-keeper.’

“‘What a pity. I was hoping for someone who could help me escape! Oh well, if you want to come with me you may.’

“‘Can I?’

“‘I just said you could,’ Logan disappears into the hole with Virgil following him, ‘Oh, that wicked, wicked king! You know, he stole me. He thought my bauble could tell him where some cauldron was.’

“‘That's what he wanted my pig for.’

“Logan laughs, ‘Oh, right. Your _pig_.’

“‘But my pig can tell the future!’

“‘Oooooo! How interesting! Well, you better stay close to me or you'll get lost.’ Logan sarcastically remarks. 

“The bauble flies around the dark passages that no one but Logan has been in for years. The bauble chases the rats that live in the passages since Logan doesn't like them.

“‘Your bauble!’

“‘Oh, it's always chasing those rats!’ Virgil finds a hole in the wall and looks in. Logan looks too, ‘A burial chamber! This could be the tomb of the great king who built this castle! Before the Horned King took it over ..Ahh!’

“The wall begins to fall apart. Virgil falls forward and Logan backs away. The dust settles leaving a hole big enough to walk through. 

“‘Are you all right?’ he helps Virgil up, ‘Well, c'mon then! Help me have a look around.’

“Virgil gets up and walks over to the body of the fallen king. ‘He must have been a great warrior!’” Virgil looks more closely at the body and sees a faint outline of a sword, ‘Shit! A sword!’

Virgil dusts the sword off and its golden hilt shows through. He gasps at his discovery, then his attention is drawn to Logan who is watching Creeper and one of the Henchmen.

“‘This will please him! Piece of good luck this time! Hurry! In with it! Hurry! He'll reward me for this! Don't stop, you weakling! Put your back into it!’ Creeper says while leading the Henchmen, who’s pulling a cart, but Virgil and Logan don’t what is on it since it’s covered by a sheet, into one of the Horned King's rooms. Before Creeper closes the doors behind him a skeletal arm falls out and drags behind the cart. The doors close, the coast is clear.

“‘Let's get out of here before they come back!’ Logan whisper-yells at Virgil.

“Virgil and Logan sneak by the doors and stop around the next corner. Now, Logan notices that Virgil has a sword, ‘Wait, where did you get that sword?’

“‘Uh, back there.’

“‘You mean…’

“‘Well, he's not going to use it!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman's character is finally coming next chapter, so get ready for that!


	8. 7

“Suddenly, they hear a dog barking and a voice pleading. They go to see who it is.

“‘You're making a horrendous mistake! I'm not a spy! I'm a bard! I sing! Uh, I entertain! Oh, careful sir, these are the hands of an artist!’ a man near Logan and Virgil exclaims dramatically while being chained up by a guard. He’s wearing a nice white shirt and pants with quite a few patches sewn onto them, a red sash, a white hat with a red feather sticking out of it, and a ukelele.

“‘This'll hold you!’

“‘Now, look, you seem an intelligent sort of chap to me!’

“The guard looks at him with a  _ duh _ expression. ‘I assure you I had no idea who owned this castle! I just happened to be passing by!’ the musician looks at the guard’s dog, ‘Oh, he's nice! What's his name?’

“‘The dog tries to bite Roman, but the guard leads the dog away. ‘Down! You don't realize who I am! I shall sing of your dastardly deed! I'm Roman Prince! Minstrel of minstrels! Balladeer to the grandest courts in all the land!’

“Of course you made yourself a bard.”

“Shut up, Charlie Frown! Now, back to the story, the ukelele, that hangs from a string around Roman’s neck, shakes violently and one of the strings snaps. Roman looks at the ukelele and simply replies, ‘Well, so you've forgotten! I've sung in some of the finest courts!’ In response, another string breaks.”

“Oh, I get it! A string breaks when he lies or exaggerates!” Patton exclaims.

The others look at him for a moment. 

“Uh, yeah, Pop Star, I think we all kinda… got that.”

“Oh, sorry, Roman! On with the adventure!”

“As  _ I  _ was saying(get it?. ‘Well I'm only waiting for an invitation!’ a fat string breaks, ‘Oh, shush! Why do you judge every word I say? Oh! What's that?’

“He sees a skeleton of a former minstrel chained to the wall.

“Shocked, he yells, ‘ _ Help! _ ’

‘Logan walks up to him, ‘Oh, hello! We'll have you untied in a moment. I'm Prince Logan. And you are in bad trouble aren't you?’”

“I would  _ not  _ say that”

“I agree”

“Oh my god, guys! Shut up!”

“Now, Roman, that’s not very nice! They’re just trying to give you feedback on your characterization of them!” 

“Ok, whatever, Padre, just let me get back to the story!”

“Alright, kiddo, just be nice!”

“Ok! Now, Roman says, ‘Trouble? Don't you know where you are? Haven't you seen him?’

“A noise stops their conservation. Roman is half free with one hand still tied up when they are suddenly alerted that the Henchmen knows Virgil is missing. They hear a henchmen yell, ‘Pig-boy's escaped! Look in there!’ from behind the door.

“‘Shit! We've been discovered!’ Virgil yells, momentarily forgetting about Roman and running out with Logan.

“‘You? Oh! Great Belin! Run! Run! Make haste!’ realizing  _ he’s  _ still not free, he says to himself, ‘Make haste? I must save myself!’

“Virgil and Logan run for dear life. Virgil would've have made it across the parapet if he hadn't tripped on a flagstone, but Logan, not seeing Virgil’s fault, keeps going. As Virgil gets up, he realizes the sword is gone. He looks around him and sees that the sword has fallen in the ditch that is beside the parapet. Hearing the Henchmen, Virgil jumps into the ditch and, grabbing the sword, crawls underneath one of the arches of the parapet. The Henchmen pass over him, without seeing him. When they're gone, Virgil climbs on the parapet and searches for Logan.

“‘Prince! Prince Logan!’ Clutching the sword, Virgil rounds a corner and runs into one of the Henchmen.

“‘Pig-boy! You little brat!’

“With a single blow with his hand, the Henchmen sends Virgil sprawling. The Henchmen takes out his ax and swings at Virgil, snipping his bangs slightly. Virgil grabs onto a beam to help him get on his feet, the Henchmen swings again, missing Virgil but his ax is caught in the beam. Virgil realizes that the sword is his only hope. Virgil grabs the sword and holds it to fend off any blows the Henchmen may bring upon him. The Henchmen has pulled his ax free of the beam and is going to chop Virgil in half, but the Henchmen brings his ax down on Virgil’s sword instead. There is a bright light and a loud clang as the two weapons clash. The Henchmen's ax shudders and breaks into a million pieces. Frightened, the Henchmen backs away. Virgil realizes that the sword he has is magic. He also realizes that he is invincible with this sword. Taran laughs madly as he gets up and swings the sword around. Logan walks in on the scene and looks at Virgil like he's gone crazy, which he kinda has. 

“‘Are you all right?’ Virgil turns around and looks at Logan. 

“‘Oh, good! You're safe!’

“‘Why of course I-’

“‘C'mon! I'm going to get you out of here!’

“‘Ahhhhhhhhh!!!’ Virgil pulls on Logan’s hand and drags him behind as he runs through the castle with the magic sword in hand, trying to find a way out of the castle.

“‘There they are!’ Virgil pulls Logan up a flight of stairs with the Henchmen close behind them.

“‘Quick! Up here!’

“Logan screams as he sees one of the Henchmen coming at them with a sword, ready to strike.

“Virgil holds up the magic sword and swings at the Henchmen. With a burst of light, the magic sword shatters the other sword and throws the Henchmen back, crashing into the other Henchmen behind him. Logan looks at the sword in awe. ‘Virgil, the sword!’

“‘Great Belin!’ They look up to see Roman running for dear life with a savage guard dog right behind him. ‘Help! Murder! Get DOWN!!’

“Virgil and Logan come to a storeroom filled with wine barrels. ‘Keep going, Princess!’

Virgil takes the magic sword and splits open the wine barrels. He follows Logan and again grabs his hand and drags him through the courtyard. Everyone has seen them by now and they all are on the chase.

“‘Virgil!’ Logan yells.

“Creeper sees them and yells, ‘There they are!’

“Virgil and Logan find the drawbridge, but they are trapped.

“‘C'mon! Get them!’

“‘Oh no! Virgil!’

“‘Ha, ha, ha! We've got you now, pig-boy!’ One of the Henchmen throws an ax and it almost hits Logan.

“‘Ah! Virgil!  _ Do  _ something! Use the sword!’

“Virgil, who is trying not to get hit with the spears that are being thrown at him, swings at the chain holding up the drawbridge. The chain breaks from the touch of the magic sword. Creeper and the Henchmen back away in fear. Suddenly, Roman appears with the guard dog still behind him.

“‘Make way! Make way! Step aside! I've never hurt you! Get, get out of my way!’ The drawbridge is lowered and Roman tries to cross it but the guard dog has grabbed hold of the seat of Roman’s pants. ‘Let me down you brute!’

“‘Run, Princess! Run!’ 

“‘I am  _ not  _ a princess! I am a  _ prince _ ! Get it right!’

“The gate comes down, tearing Roman’s pants, he runs off holding up what's left of them. ‘Why didn't you tell me you had a magic sword?!’ Roman asks Virgil while running.

“We return just in time to see Creeper report the escape of the 'pig-boy', the prince, and the bard. Creeper is climbing the staircase to the Horned King's room, nervous about what the King might do to him. ‘It wasn't my fault! That's it! That's it! I always get blamed for these things! I'll just tell him… and if he gets mad... oh, OH!! I'll just straighten him out! That's it! I'm not going to get kicked around for this!!’ He quietly knocks on the Horned King's door, ‘Sire?’

“‘You bring news of the pig?’

“‘Not exactly, sire. It's the pig-keeper, sir. He's… Oh!.. he's,’ he starts to whisper, ‘he's escaped… escaped!’

“‘The Horned King signals for Creeper to come to him, ‘Oh, sire! Allow me!!’ Creeper starts to choke himself, ‘Is, is that enough?’

“‘Good. I'll find his pig! Send the gwythaints to follow that boy!’

“‘Oh, yes, sire! Oh, yes! By all means, sire!’

“Creeper leaves the room, laughing madly. Now we see gwythaints searching for the trio. Thankfully though Virgil, Roman, and Logan are out of sight of the gwythaints. They rest in a glade. Virgil is polishing the magic sword, and Logan is sewing the rip in Roman’s pants made by the guard dog. Roman stands behind a bush with his boxers on, making up a song about himself.

“Roman sings, 

‘The world will applaud me.

Its praise will reward me.

And I, Roman Prince

Will find fame!’

“Logan interrupts him with, ‘There, almost finished Roman. Hmm, it’s not too good, but it'll hold for a while.’

“‘Yes, I shall sing of your deed!’

“It would be preferred if you were to not sing of anything while I’m fixing your pants. You were pretty frightened, weren’t you, Roman?’

“‘A Prince frightened? Ho, ho! The word is not in my vocabulary!’ he looks at his ukelele strings that are about to break and quickly adds, ‘In this case, well-chosen, my dear.’

“‘I was not aware you were a prince too. What kingdom?’

“‘Oh, no, I’m not a prince, I wish haha. No, I’m a  _ Prince _ . It’s my last name.’

“‘Ah, I see.’

“‘Well I was definitely terrified, let’s never go back there.’

“‘I’m not very good at things like this, but,’ Logan scooches closer to Virgil and pats his back awkwardly, ‘there, there.’

“Virgil giggles and replies, ‘Thank you, Logan.’

“‘I, um, you’re welcome.’ Logan gives Roman his now-fixed pants back and grabs Virgil’s hand. ‘Let’s go over there for a bit, shall we?’ Logan points to a small clearing by a stream. 

“They sit together on a log in silence for a bit, until Logan speaks up, ‘We'll find your pig. I'm sure it's important.’

“‘Oh, uh, thanks. That… that really means a lot. Thomas is very important to me. And, uh, thank you for getting me out of the dungeon.’

“‘Oh, we couldn't have done it without you.’

“‘Well, at least we're all safe.’

“They stop and stare into each other’s eyes. Sadly, the moment is interrupted with, ‘Aaaahhhh!!! Great Belin!!’

“‘Shit! Roman!’


	9. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit’s back!

“They rush back and Roman is sprawled on the ground. Deceit is sitting on him, robbing Roman of all his belongings. ‘Help! Murder! Hurry!’

“‘Ha, ha! Deceit’s lucky day!’ he picks up Roman’s hat, ‘Wow!’

“‘Yes! Keep it! It's a gift!’

“Deceit picks up Roman’s ukelele, ‘Oh, this! Deceit want this!’

“‘Take it! I'm sure you've murdered for less! Ugh!’ Deceit tries to pull the ukelele away, but the string is around Roman’s neck. Practically choking Roman, Deceit gives one last pull when Virgil shows up at the scene, his magic sword drawn.

“‘Deceit! Deceit quickly lets the ukelele go, sending it smashing into Roman’s head. Deceit stutters, trying to think of an excuse.

“‘Master! Uh, uh, old man… _fall down_!’ he looks to Roman, ‘Get up. Get up!’

“Roman brushes off his ukelele, ‘Well! Really! Who is your pungent little friend?’

“‘He's no friend of mine. He's just a coward, and a thief.’

“Deceit huffs, takes off Roman’s hat and gives it back, ‘Humph! Too big anyway!’

“Deceit notices Logan and fixes his hair for him. Logan notices and says, ‘You're charming!’

“‘And pungent too!’

“Logan laughs as Virgil asks Deceit, ‘Well, what are you waiting for?’

“‘Yes. Yes exactly! Toddle off! Toddle off!’ Roman adds. 

“‘Humph! Deceit go!’ He starts to walk away, then sees Logan’s footprints. ‘Tracks? _Tracks_! Deceit remembers! Saw piggy's tracks!’

“Virgil gasps, ‘You did?’

“‘Today!’

“‘Today? Wait a minute!’

“‘See, Virge! He'll try anything!’

“‘Oh, you're both horrid! He just might know.’ Logan remarks. 

“‘Pretty boy come too?’ He pulls on Logan’s pants.

“‘Well, I…’

“‘Yes! Yes! Yes! Follow Deceit! Follow Dee!

“‘You'd better be telling the truth!’

“‘Deceit not lie. Not this time.’

“The group follows Deceit. Soon they come to a small pond. Where Deceit proudly shows Virgil Thomas’s tracks. 

“‘Good job, Deceit! See, I told you it made more sense to trust him. Why are you called Deceit, anyway?’

“‘That’s the name Master gave me! Deceit loves his name, he’s never had one before!’

“Logan glares at Virgil, and he just shrugs. Continuing along the tracks, they finally find Thomas, who’s eating an apple that had fallen out of a tree. ‘Thomas! Finally! We’ve found you!’

“Thomas’s head perks up at his name, and with a series of oinks, he runs up and tries to jump up onto Virgil. Virgil laughs and scratches behind his ears, muttering small ‘easy there’s and ‘I missed you, buddy’s. 

“Logan smiles at the, frankly, adorable scene but Roman just scoffs. ‘Why did we need this pig again?!’

“Logan quiets him down while Virgil is distracted, ‘The pig is magic, Roman, calm down.’

“‘What!?!’

“When Thomas leaps off his lap and starts frantically oinking, Virgil looks over to see Thomas pointing with his snout, clearly trying to get the odd group of companions to go that direction. ‘I think Thomas wants us to go this way,’ Virgil says, pointing in the direction Thomas is. 

“‘Well then, let’s go!’ Logan excitedly states, knowing how important this pig must be if the Horned King wanted him and fought so hard to stop him from leaving. 

“Roman mumbled, ‘I thought _you_ were the smart one…’ while reluctantly following the group, just behind Deceit. 

“They continue to walk, taking minimal breaks and making it there in about three hours. As they go on, the path Thomas is leading them on gets darker and murkier and, well, _scarier_. 

“Logan gasps when Thomas finally comes to a stop, ‘The Marshes of Morva…’

“‘Marshes of Morva? What’s that?’ Roman questions.

“‘Well, uh, it _was_ a myth. But I guess it’s real. It’s the dwelling place of three extremely powerful witches, Orgoch, Orddu, and Orwen. A murky swamp holding their possessions that they generally use to bargain with. Legends say the three often turn people into frogs, hoard cauldrons for some reason, and make faulty deals.’

“We now view an area that resembles a swamp with an eerie mist covering the ground. We see Virgil, Logan, Deceit, and Roman. Logan is stepping carefully, knowing from his research how dangerous this place could be. Roman, who is looking worse for wear, seems to be exhausted.

“‘...such a dreary place.’ Logan continues

“‘Let's see what it looks like from up here,’ Virgil walks to a small ledge overlooking the marshes.

“‘Are you sure this is the right place, Thomas?’ Roman asks the pig.

“He oinks in response, looking Roman in the eye. There is a pause, that Virgil breaks with ‘...I think that means yes.’

“Roman starts, ‘Well, if you ask me.....Aaahhhhh!’ Roman walks over a small ledge.

“‘Roman! Are you all right?’ Virgil yells.

“‘Welp, this looks like the place. Welcome to Morva.’

“Virgil walks up to the cottage, ‘Well, someone must live here.’

“‘Deceit not like this place! Uh-uh! Nope!’

“Logan looks in a window, ‘It seems empty. Maybe we should have a look.’

“Virgil tries to push the door open, ‘If I could just....get this... door open!’ The door opens, and they start to look around.

“‘How will we ever find the Black Cauldron in a place like this?’ Logan questions.”

“Wait, I’m confused. Why are they trying to find the Black Cauldron again? I thought that was the _bad_ thing.”

“Padre, _obviously_ they’re trying to destroy it before the Horned King can find it!”

“Falsehood. That was not obvious, it was never stated anywhere.”

“Ugh, guys! It’s fine! This is just an idea, I haven’t gotten all the kinks out yet!”

“Actually, Princey, this story seems pretty familiar… are you sure it’s not based on anything?”

“Oh, and what would it be based on, Doctor Gloom?”

“I don’t know, ok?! I can’t put my finger on it right now. Whatever, ok, just continue the story please.”

“Thank you! Now, as I was saying, Virgil groans, ‘It must be here somewhere!’

“They begin to look for the Cauldron. Logan looks in lower cabinets, Virgil looks in higher ones. Deceit looks behind a door. Virgil opens a chest and myriad of frogs jump out heading for the door, and both Logan and Virgil scream.

“Roman sighs, ‘They're only frogs guys.’

“Logan yells, ‘Those were people!!’

“‘You mean they were turned into frogs!?’ Deceit suddenly jumps on Virgil and shakes him madly. ‘Oof!!’

“‘Oh, master! Come quickly! Deceit finds the wicked Cauldron! Quick! Quick! Follow Deceit!’ Deceit leads the group into the next room, ‘Behold master!’

“Deceit leads them into a giant cave-like room filled to the brim with… _cauldrons_. 

“‘The whole room is full of cauldrons!’

“‘I don't understand! Why would, why would anyone want so many....’ Logan trails off, hand on his chin.

“‘Ah! Thieves! Thieves! Oh wait, it’s you.’

“‘Remus?!’ Roman yells, ‘What are _you_ doing here?!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	10. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? It's more likely than you think.  
> (lol just kidding this and the last one were gonna be one chapter but I felt like where the last one ended was a better place to leave off)

“‘Roman, how do you know this… ominous voice?’ Logan questioned.

“‘Ugh. I hate to say it guys, but this disgusting shell of a person is-’

“‘I’m his brother!’ Remus yells, appearing behind Virgil, causing him to jump forward, gasping and holding his chest. 

“Roman sighed, ‘I’m sorry about him, Virgil.’

“‘Is he…  _ always  _ like this?’ Logan piped in.

“‘Yes.’

“‘Brother, I, of course,  _ always _ welcome you but who are these other people? And  _ why _ are they stealing all my people-frogs?’

“Logan adjusts his glasses, ‘Excuse me warlock-’

“‘Oh you can just call me Remus!’

“‘Excuse me, Remus, but I assure you we were not trying to steal. We apologize for letting your, erm, people-frogs escape but we were simply looking for the Black Cauldron in order to destroy it-’

“‘Hey! Don’t tell him that!’ Roman yells.

“‘I will always stand by the point that explaini-’

“‘Ooh I  _ like _ him!’ Remus exclaims, suddenly appearing behind Logan, arm around his shoulders.

“‘I, um, I,’ Logan stammers, red as a tomato, ‘I’m sorry, I seem to have lost my trail of-’

“‘My, aren't you the handsome one! You know, what’s your name?’ He hugs Logan, who is quite shocked.

“‘Who? M-me? I, erm, I’m Prince Logan.’

“‘Mmmm, Logan, I like it. I hope you don't mind if I move your heart, you handsome devil! Not to mention the  _ royal _ aspect!’

‘Logan, realizing just what’s happening, starts to squirm out of his grasp, starting to run towards Virgil.

“Remus stops him, comically stretching his arm out, ‘Come here, love! Can anyone here perform marriages?’

“‘Marriages?!’

“Virgil steps up, finally fed up with the situation, ‘Enough! We've come for the Black Cauldron!’

“‘Ooo! Why no one has asked for the Black Cauldron in over two thousand years! Perhaps I might interest you in something else; a kettle, a crockpot, a skillet, a teapot, a bucket, a jar, a platter!’ pots, skillets, and pans all float around Virgil, ‘See anything you like?’

“The Magic Sword glows and suddenly seems to take on its own life. It shatters the pots and pans and gets Remus’s attention, ‘I don't believe it! I've never seen a sword like that! I've got to have that sword! Listen carefully, I’ll trade the Cauldron for the sword!’ he turns around and starts muttering, seemingly talking to himself, ‘But what can they even  _ do  _ with the Cauldron, Remus? Nothing! That's the point. Don't you see? I'll end up with both! The sword and the Cauldron!’ he turns around, acting as if none of them clearly heard that, ‘It's decided then, you shall have the Black Cauldron.’

“‘You mean, you'll give it to us?’ Roman asks, astonished.

“‘Ha, ha! That's not what I said. You weren't listening. I never give anything away! What I do is bargain, trade!’

“‘Well you'll never have my sword!’

‘Roman pipes up, ‘May I ask, dear brother, to perhaps consider this magnificent ukelele?’

“Remus scoffs, ‘A ukelele?! When I want music, I just poke my thunderbird with a stick. What would I possibly want with a simple ukelele? Honestly Ro, you enjoy the weirdest things.’

“‘Wait! Deceit will trade his munchings and crunchings!’ he holds out an apple core.

“Remus grabs the apple core and eats it, ‘Hmm, that didn’t last long.’

“Virgil sighs, ‘Alright! I know what you want!’

“‘Yesssss?’

“Logan yells, ‘No!’, pots and pans fly by. Then the cauldrons take off.

“Virgil sees one cauldron start to dart towards Logan, ‘Look out!’

“‘Ah! Great Odin’s eyepatch!!’

“The odd group lay on their stomachs to keep out of the way of the cauldrons. Just when they think it's over, a small earthquake takes place. The Black Cauldron is pushed up from under the ground where the cottage had been.

“‘Look!’ Logan remarks.

“‘The Black Cauldron! It's ours!’

Virgil walks toward it and he hears what is clearly Remus’s laugh. He looks up to see him watching from the clouds.

“‘I say, what funny little ducklings! Don't they know the Black Cauldron is indestructible! Now listen carefully, the Black Cauldron can never be destroyed. Only it’s evil powers can be stopped!’

“‘Then there is a way! But how?’

“‘A living being must climb into it on his own free will!’

“‘Deceit is bold and brave! He will climb into the evil cauldron!’

“‘However, the poor duckling will never climb out alive!’ Remus cackles. 

“‘Yikes!’

“‘Now look here Remus, don't forget we have an agreement!’

“Logan chimes in, ‘Yes! You said we could have the Cauldron!’

“Remus cackles yet again, ‘Of course I said you could have the Cauldron. It's not  _ my _ fault you can't do anything with it! he disappears, but they hear from the clouds, ‘Goodbye goslings! And remember I  _ always _ keep a bargain!’

Virgil! No!’

“‘It's our only chance! Here is my sword. Take it.’

“‘Noice! We have made a bargain.’

“Remus disappears with the sword. The cottage begins to fall apart as the wind blows it away. Stools and chairs fly through the air before the cottage crumbled to the ground just as the strange group of friends escaped. 

“Night comes, and our heros sit around a campfire. Roman is tending the fire with a stick, and Logan and Deceit sit next to him. Virgil sits by himself. Unsure about what they should do with the Cauldron, they ponder their problem.

“Virgil starts to mumble, ‘This is all my fault,’ he begins to yell, ‘It's my fault! I let you down! Without my sword I'm nothing! I'm just an…,’ he sighs, ‘just an Assistant Pig-Keeper!’

“Logan rushes up to ‘Look, you are somebody! You must believe in yourself!’ Logan looks down, ‘I believe in you.’

“Virgil looks up, awfully surprised, ‘Y-you do! And I think that you're…’ Virgil grabs Logan hands, ‘Uh, I mean... That is…’ He draws his hands away in embarrassment.

“‘Yes, Virgil?’

“‘What I mean is… that I'm grateful,’ he stares into Logan’s eyes for a moment, before abruptly looking over to Roman and Deceit, ‘For all of you. You've been true friends. Now it's up to me-’”

“Hey! This is getting too shippy, Roman!”

“Shut up, Jerky McJerkface! The fans love it!”

Logan speaks up, “If I may, what fans? I was under the impression this was just a  _ possible  _ video, this is not being filmed.”

“Oh come on, Calculator Watch, you know what I mean! Anyway, ‘Now it’s up to me-’

“‘Look!’


	11. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed the tags a bit, so you might wanna check them! :)

“‘Look!’ Logan points to some gwythaints swooping around the cauldron.

“‘Uh oh! Trouble! Goodbye!’ Deceit skitters away.

“‘Quick! We can't let them find it!’ Virgil yells just as the Henchmen burst out of the brush holding spears.

“‘Pig boy!!’

“Virgil simply sighs as the Henchmen surround our heroes and capture them. And so, Virgil, Prince Logan, and Roman are all taken back to the Horned King's castle. 

“After the entirely uncomfortable journey, the group sees the King's courtroom, which was is filled with the lifeless skeleton warriors. Creeper is on a platform with the Black Cauldron, yelling out orders, ‘Get a move on! Careful now! You! Tie them up over there and get that cart out of here!’ He looks to the heroes, ‘Oh, I 'm sorry. I've ignored you. You did come for the Black Cauldron? Good, then climb right in! It'll only cost you your life!’ He starts to cackle before abruptly cutting himself off when he sees the Horned King coming. ‘Oh!! Everything is ready, sire!’

“The Horned King towers over our heroes, ‘My, such a brave and handsome crew! A pig-boy, a scullery footman, and a broken-down minstrel! Perhaps it may interest you to see what fate has in store for you!’ He laughs, ‘Now I call upon the army of the dead! The Cauldron Born!’ The Horned King takes one of the skeletons and places it in the Black Cauldron, ‘Arise my messengers of death! Our hour has arrived!’

“The Cauldron begins to shake and starts leaking blood. It spits a huge ball of fire and produces a green mist that settles over the rotting skeletons. The henchmen close in for a closer look when suddenly the skeletons spring to life. They are now the Cauldron Born. They make their way to the entrance of the castle. Because of this, we see Deceit entering the castle through the water gate, watching all the rats scurry away.

“Logan gasps, ‘Oh! It's horrible!’

The Horned King laughs at Logan’s comment, ‘My phantom warriors have come to life! All dead from centuries past! Never has anyone created an army like this! Go forth, my deathless warriors! Destroy all in your path!’

“‘Come, sire! We can get a better view from above!’ Creeper leads the Horned King to the balcony overlooking the drawbridge. While Creeper leads the Horned King to the parapets above, Virgil, Logan, and Roman look hopelessly at one another.

“‘Oh, Taran! I'm afraid it'll soon be over for us.’”

“If I may,” Logan interrupts, “You’re making me sound very,” he makes a disgusted face, “ _ emotional _ "

“Yeah, Princey, Logan’s not overly emotional! He’s calm, collected, smart, and thoughtful!”

“Thank you, Virgil.”

Roman just looks at the two pining idiots for a moment and then continues his story.

“‘I-I hadn't planned it to end like this, Logan.’

“Roman sighs, ‘Oh, I wish Remus had just turned us into toads!’

“From the parapets above, Creeper and the Horned King lean out a window, watching the Cauldron Born cross the drawbridge and begin to slaughter every living thing they see.

The Horned King smiles at his undead soldiers, ‘Only moments away from victory! My greatest triumph!’

“‘We did it sire! I-I mean  _ you _ ! Yes, yes! Of course! You did it, Sire!’

“Deceit is climbing up a flight of stairs. He reaches the top and opens a door. An axe chops the door down as the Cauldron Born burst through the doorway. ‘Yikes!’ He runs away and comes to a window looking into another room. He breathes quite loudly, resulting in Virgil hearing him. 

“‘Deceit? Deceit, is that you?’

“‘Master!’

“‘Deceit, what are you doing here?’

“‘Deceit sorry he always runs away when there's trouble. He untie everyone! Then we leave this evil place!’

“Roman scoffs, still not fully trusting Deceit, ‘Well, get on with it!’

“Virgil, now freed, pat’s Deceit’s scaley head, ‘Good boy, Deceit! Logan, you go with Roman and Deceit. I must stop the Cauldron.’ Virgil starts climbing to a balcony that overlooks the cauldron.

“‘Oh, but Virgil that's impossible! Why, you'd be--’ Logan sees Virgil ready to throw himself into the Cauldron, ‘Virgil!!’

“‘I'm sorry Logan.’

“Logan starts to cry, a rare occurrence I tell you, ‘Please, Virgil!!  _ No _ !!! You can't!!!!’

“‘My mind is made up!’ Virgil readies himself, but Deceit stands in his way.

“‘Wait, master! Deceit not let you jump into Cauldron!’

“‘Deceit, get out of my way!’

“Deceit backs up almost to the edge of the balcony. He almost falls in when part of the cobblestones give way, ‘Whoa! Please master! Not go into evil Cauldron.’

“‘If I don't we're all lost! Out of my way!’

“Deceit starts to cry, ‘No! Deceit not let his friend die!’ he walks toward the Cauldron, ‘Virgil has many friends,’ he sniffs, ‘Deceit has no friends.’

“‘Deceit, No! Don't jump! Wait! Don't!’ Deceit jumps off the cobblestone, plummeting into the Black Cauldron, the Cauldron shooting bright flames out in response, ‘Nooo! Oh, no!’ Virgil falls to his knees, starting to hiccup and sob, but he takes a breath and looks up with a determined face. 'I won't let Deceit die for nothing.'

“The fire and the green mist are suddenly being sucked back into the Cauldron. Outside, the Cauldron Born are staggering and falling into heaps and becoming dusty skeletons once more.

“‘Sire! Sire look! Something's wrong! What is it, sire? They're- they're dying!’

“‘It can't be!’ the Horned King seizes Creeper by the throat, ‘This had better not be your fault!’

“‘Perhaps it needs another body, Sire?’

“‘Yes!  _ Yours _ !!!’ he cackles as he picks up Creeper, who struggles and squirms. 

Virgil, Logan, and Roman dash throughout the corridors, eventually coming to the main room where the Cauldron is madly sucking up all the mist and fire, capturing all the evil that it has created.

“To Roman, Virgil says, a new fire in his eyes, ‘Get Logan out of here. Hurry!’

“‘Virgil, I, please, I-‘

“‘Go on! Go with Roman!’ He starts to storm away when he mutters to himself, ‘Maybe there's still a chance for Deceit.’

“Suddenly, the Cauldron gives a mad onrush of air. All the torches blow out and Virgil is dragged toward the Cauldron, which is hungry for more innocent lives. Virgil sees an iron handle on the wall. Desperately, he reaches for it and holds on tight. Then, the Horned King charges downstairs from his balcony above with Creeper in his clutches, ‘No, Sire!!! Please!!’

“The Horned King grabs one of the Cauldron Born by it’s tattered shirt, ‘Get up!! Come alive!!’

“‘Maybe they're only resting, Sire!!’ Creeper picks up a different Cauldron Born, ‘ _ Do something _ !!!! My  _ life _ is at stake!!!!

“‘Get up you fools!!!  _ Kill _ !!!!!!!’

“Creeper suddenly spies Virgil holding onto the iron handle, doing his best to keep himself from being sucked into the Black Cauldron. ‘Look!! Sire, look!! It's the  _ Pig Boy _ !! It's  _ his _ fault!! Yes!  _ He’s _ the cause of it!!’

“The Horned King throws Creeper away from him as he moves toward Virgil, promising himself that  _ he  _ will be the next victim of the Black Cauldron. ‘You've interfered for the last time…’

“‘Ha, ha!! Go for his throat, Sire!!!’

“‘Now, Pig-Keeper. You shall die!!’ He grabs Virgil by the front of his shirt, pulling him up.

“No! Don’t!!!’ Virgil kicks himself away, trying to escape.

“‘What's  _ this _ ?!’ The Cauldron sucks in a gigantic amount of air, causing the Horned King to start getting sucked into the Cauldron. ‘No, you won’t escape!’ The Horned King seizes Virgil and looks him in the eye, ‘ _ You _ will satisfy the Cauldron's hunger!’ The Horned King throws Virgil toward the Cauldron and Virgil, too weak to move, lays still. Pleased with his work, The Horned King makes his way toward the staircase leading to his balcony. Virgil, seeing that he's leaving, crawls away from the Cauldron, Logan and Roman watching nervously from a parapet above.

“Logan and Roman gasp, ‘Oh no!’

“The Cauldron is not pleased seeing it’s revenge escaping. It makes another huge onrush of air, causing the Horned King to slip closer to the Cauldron, ‘No! You'll not have me! My power cannot die!’ Realizing it’s too late for him, The Horned King starts to get louder, ‘Curse you! No! Noooo!’ The Horned King holds tightly onto the Cauldron trying to pull himself away, ‘Aaarrrgghh!!!’

“He deteriorates in a flash of light and is gone. Creeper, who was watching from a parapet above, says, ‘Oh no! H-how horrible! Poor sire! H-he's gone!’ He begins to realize that  _ he's gone _ and he's not going to be punished whether or not it was his fault, ‘He's gone! Ha! He's gone! Ha, ha, ha, ha! He’s Gone!’ Creeper hobbles away.

“The Cauldron's onrush of air has stopped, and now it has turned a molten gold and is causing the floor to collapse. Virgil flees, looking for Logan and Roman. ‘Roman! Logan!’

“‘Over here! Hurry!’ Logan calls. 

“‘Thank goodness you're safe! C'mon, Roman! Hurry!’

“As they run throughout the falling-apart castle, pillars crumble before their eyes and the floors behind them start collapsing. They come to a spot where the floor has split. Roman jumps over first, then Logan. Virgil doesn't like the idea.

“‘C'mon Virgil! Jump!’ Roman yelled.

“Virgil makes it safely across and they bolt down a hallway. They come to the sewer of the castle where a boat sits there waiting for them, Logan notices. ‘Virgil, look!’

“‘Good! Get in,’ he picks up a pole, ‘Here! Your job, Roman!’

“Roman starts pulling them toward the exit when he notices a locked gate blocks their path, ‘Uh oh! Trouble!’

“‘We can't get through!’ Logan exclaims.

“‘I-I'll try to open the gate,’ Virgil jumps out of the boat into the water.

“‘Be careful, Virgil!’

“Virgil easily breaks the rusty chains and opens the gate, ‘Quick! Push the boat through!’

“‘C'mon, Roman! Hurry!’ Virgil, still in the water, helps push the boat through the exit. Roman’s trying to pull Virgil back into the boat.

“‘Good job, lad!’

“Suddenly Roman sees that the ceiling is going to give way. With one final heave, he pulls Virgil into the boat. ‘Look out!!!’ The ceiling caves in just as the companions make it into the exit tunnel. A huge wave of water flushes them out of the castle and capsizes their boat just before the castle explodes. The towers crumble and the rubble sinks into the bubbling water just as Virgil, Logan, and Roman barely made it out of the castle. As Roman pulls the boat to shore, we see Creeper, laughing madly out of joy that the Horned King cannot punish him ever again. Creeper managed to free a gwythaint, using it as his escape method. They fly away, never to be seen again. The castle crumbles to bits, as small fires break out, burning the wood beams. 

“The trio just makes it to shore when Virgil spots something, ‘Look!’ he points to the Black Cauldron, happily bubbling about atop the water, for it has had its fill on lives. Taran rushes through the water, then stops. A wind picks up and the clouds roll in carrying a familiar laugh.

“Remus appears in the sky, seemingly made of sickly green clouds, ‘Why are the poor ducklings so sad? They got what they wanted and they’re still not satisfied!’

“‘Just what do you think you're up to, brother?’

“‘Oh, I have business with your little hero,’ Remus points to Virgil with a claw-like nail.

“‘Hero? Deceit was the hero!’

“‘Hero?!’ Remus cackles, ‘I remember you calling him a ‘scaley little thief!’ A horrible greedy thing! Ha, in fact,  _ you’re  _ the one who called him  _ Deceit _ ! The only thing that mattered to you was the Cauldron! But… now it's of no use to you. So I'll just take it, and be on my way!’ Remus starts moving the Cauldron with his glowing green magic.

“‘Wait!’ Roman calls out, ‘Uh, stay your hands, uh, fiend! We never give anything away! We  _ bargain _ , we  _ trade _ . Remember?

“‘Ha, ha! Did these ears hear the word bargain? Hmmm?’ Remus pulls out a huge chunk of earwax from his ear.

“Logan raises his arm and cuts in, ‘Yes! Those ears heard right!’

“‘Oooooh! I  _ adore  _ a voiceful man!’

“Roman scoffs, ‘Oh! Pull yourself together, Rem! I say! Out with it, what is your offer?’

“‘Alright,  _ bro bro _ , I’ll play your game! A magnificent sword for a warrior!’ The sword, covered in bright green magic, floats down to Virgil. He reaches out for it, then suddenly draws his hand away.

“‘I'm not a warrior. I'm an assistant pig-boy. What can I do with a sword?’

“Remus cackles, ‘Absolutely nothing!’ He grabs the sword back.

“Virgil calls out again ‘But I  _ will  _ trade!’

“Remus makes his face as close and as large as he can to our three heros, ‘ _ Yes?! _ ’

“‘The Cauldron..,’ Virgil takes a deep breath, ‘for Deceit!’

“Remus darts back up into the clouds where he was before, ‘Well shit. I can’t do that.’

“‘Just as I thought, Dukey! You've got no real power! Admit it! Admit it!’

“Remus gasps, clearly insulted by Roman’s remark. He disappears into a whirlwind and circles around the Cauldron, ‘I have made a bargain!’ Remus cackles deeply, making the wind funnel in front of Virgil, Logan, and Roman. Suddenly, the Cauldron and Remus disappear and the still body of Deceit lays on the ground. Virgil quietly walks forward and carefully picks up Deceit’s body. He turns around and faces his friends. Virgil's eyes fills with tears and he hugs Deceit’s body. Then, he quickly looks away. Suddenly a little scaley paw slips into his vest as if in search of an apple.

“‘Munchings and crunchings in here somewhere!’

“Virgil gasps, both from tears and surprise, ‘Deceit! You-You're alive!’

“Logan gasps as well, ‘He's alive!’

“‘Great Belin! He IS alive!’

“‘I'm alive! Ha ha ha! Deceit’s alive! Look! Look! Look! Touch me! Oh! Ho, ho!’

“Logan looks down fondly at Deceit, ‘Oh, you clever little thing!’ He giggles as Deceit crawls up to be in between Virgil and Logan who are hugging him. He flashes a crafty smile and pushes Logan and Virgil together, resulting in a kiss. Deceit, Virgil, Logan, and Roman all laugh.

“‘C'mon Deceit! Let's go home!’

“‘Oh! Gurgi's Happy day!’ Deceit runs forward and grabs Virgil’s hand, who looks at Logan and holds his hand out and he takes it, then Logan holds his hand out to Roman and he takes it.

“‘Great Odin’s eyepatch! Ha!’ the trio walk off together and their image turns into one of Thomas's visions. Patton and Thomas are back at Caer Dallben. Patton smiles to himself, ‘Good job, kiddo.’”

“SO?? What do you guys think?”

Virgil hums, “That’s what it is! Gah, how did I not realize it before! That’s just The Black Cauldron, Roman!”

“Ah yes, that is what I was thinking of calling it.”

“Roman!  _ The Black Cauldron _ !” Silence. “The Disney movie?!” 

“Ohhhhh” comes from everyone in the room.

“Goddammit!” Roman yells, getting up and storming off. 

“At least you tried Kiddo!” Patton calls after him. He then faces Logan and Virgil, “Sooooo you two lovebirds didn’t seem to have any objections to the kiss scene???”

Logan and Virgil both fluster, turning bright red. Logan mumbles out, “Only because it came naturally, Deceit made us- er, them! This is just one of Roman’s silly stories, anyway!” Logan gets up and sinks out immediately to his room.

Virgil sighs, “...yeah, one of Roman’s silly stories.”

Patton gently pats Virgil’s shoulder, “There, there, Kiddo, he’ll come around. He likes to pretend he doesn’t have feelings.”

“Yeah, you’re right Patton.”

For a few moments, there’s an awkward silence. 

Patton interrupts it with, “Hey Virge?” he looks up, “I haven’t seen The Black Cauldron. It’s one of your favorites, isn’t it?”

“Yeah! It’s such a great movie, I can’t believe you haven’t seen it! It has a great story-”

And so, Patton made popcorn and summoned some candy and Virgil and he went up to Patton’s room, wearing their onesies and cuddling up with Patton’s pillows and toys to watch The Black Cauldron together. And if Patton had already seen The Black Cauldron plenty of times, well that was his business. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! I hope y'all enjoyed this kinda silly fic I wrote to get out of writer's block! I think it worked! Comment and let me know what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you're interested! I'm hoping to have this done by the end of Thanksgiving break, so before or on December 2nd. The upcoming chapters will be much longer, don't worry haha.


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